We’ve all argued with someone we loved or failed to see eye to eye with a friend on something. Sometimes, the argument is small, like what sides to cook with dinner. Other times, the issues go much deeper.
In the Rethreading Lives podcast featuring Mark from Season 1, we discussed the art of disagreeing and how to look past an opposing viewpoint. Author Timothy Keller once said, “Friends become wiser together through a healthy clash of viewpoints.” Today, we cover a few highlights on how to have a healthy clash of viewpoints.
A Day in Someone Else’s Shoes
An essential principle of cultivating openness is realizing everyone brings their own perspective, baggage, and history to any disagreement. At least two viewpoints are present within any argument, scuffle, or disagreement. Understanding the other side of the argument has the same
right to their perspective as you do is the first step in a healthy disagreement.
Imagining the other’s perspective is a pillar focus in complex resolution courses. When you “spend a day in someone else’s shoes,” you learn why they walk the way they do. A healthy exercise can be to take a pause and allow the other person to explain their perspective and reasoning. This practice helps lay the foundation of productive and meaningful conflict resolution.
Seeing, Listening, Loving
An appropriate step in a healthy disagreement is to look beyond the argument and see the person in front of you. Avoid seeing them as the enemy. Instead, listen to understand the other side of things. Part of understanding someone else’s perspective is a willingness to withstand
the awkwardness and the disagreement to maintain a loving and intact relationship.
Remember, you don’t always have to agree on everything, but you can still love that person despite your disagreement. In fact, that’s where relationships grow, loving someone after acknowledging their faults, pain points, and perspective. Next time you disagree or argue, remember to look past the disagreement and love the person in front of you.
